Patrick travels home

I would first like to make it perfectly clear that I am only updating because Shannon has asked me to. I'm part of her 'daily reading', and I guess the little journalist inside me has been goaded into at least one more post.

Ah, the trip home. The train was good, I charged through a Grisham, and then had a kebab (Australian version of Donair, and much inferior) and crashed on the airport floor. Slept sparingly, and was sat on the airplane beside a clearly terrified six-year-old child. I was about to request ear plugs and sedatives, but the flight attendant asked me if I was willing to move to allow the child's mother to sit with it. They thanked me profusely for moving, and I thanked them silently for the same thing. I was sat next to two girls a few years older than me from Calgary and Vancouver respectively, and we swapped stories from our (similar) trips. All of us liked Perth the best out of all the cities. All of us stayed at the same hostel in Melbourne. We told each other our life stories and expressed our amazement at how much more open our lives had become so much more of an open book, and agreed that this was because of our desire to connect with people. We both had plenty of people whose names we knew, that we went drinking with once, or had played cards with at a hostel, or worked with. People that we will never see again; people that only were a part of our lives out of our communal need for social interaction, yet none of us could name more than four or five people that we would make a conscienscious effort to keep in touch with. Not really a revelation, but kind of a bittersweet finish to the trip. It was very unlike Cuba or Mexico, where you were corralled for the majority of the time on a boat or in a resort, and you made friends with the people who looked closest to your age and your attitude.

Anyway, we watched The Illusionist and tried to watch a couple others, (My Super Ex-Girlfriend, one that I forget) but we were all tired and reading good books, and so, after an extended stay in Honolulu (3h instead of 1) we popped some sleeping pills. Apparently they didn't work on the girls, but I was out like a light. Perhaps it was the red wine...

Anyway, woke up and sprinted through customs and waited anxiously for my bag and sprinted to make a connection that I had 5 minutes to make, and then got there, only to realize that the flight was delayed another hor and a half, and relaxed. And let me tell you, after Sydney -> Honolulu -> Vancouver, a Vancouver -> Edmonton flight is a breath of fresh air.

I will post another about my first week home soon, but right now I am being summoned to help with dinner.

Until then!

-P

Patrick is coming home soon

Well, it's pretty much the end of the trip.

It's my last night in Melbourne and I get to spend all day on the train tomorrow (which means that I won't be able to follow the football games, but someone cheer the Pats and Saints for me) and then I have an early flight on Tuesday back home. I will, strangely, land in Edmonton only a couple of hours after leaving Australia. I get the sense that it will feel like longer.

Over the last week here in Melbourne, I have been lazy, but good-lazy, not feel-like-I-wasted-a-week lazy. I have gotten the drunkest I have been on this vacation (Thursday, off 4 litres of boxed wine that cost $6. Wine which contained traces of fish, milk, egg and nuts, apparently) and spend a night with Leah and Brittney at the casino and out across the river watching the gondolas row by and seeing the pillars in front of the casino spout bursts of fire, which they do every hour. Kind of reminds me of the Silver City dragon. I went to a day of the Australian Open with Raf and we saw Roddick beat Safin in a great match. I played a lot of cards, a lot of drinking games, and caught another movie. I had the majority of the hostel playing 'trapped'. We had to use seven decks at one point. I spent a little extra at the grocery store and made myself some nicer meals. Pork chops with mashed potatoes and gravy. Beef stir-fry. Met some new friends, including a couple of Irish girls that could drink me under the table with stunning ease. I mean, I know I've lost some of my drink-holding ability, but it was a little bit humiliating. Played a couple of poker tournaments in the hostel. There's some Americans and Canadians here now, which is new, as December was a month of British accents and German dialects. So, all in all, it was a good week.

Tonight is movie night, and I lucked into becoming close with the guy who picks the movies, and I talked him into The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine and Kenny. Well, Kenny was his choice. And there will be pizza, so I think it's a good way to go out. I was thinking of going out in a blaze of alcohol-induced fire, but a hangover on the train doesn't sound too appealing, and I went pretty hard last night anyway. This will probably be my last post from Australia. I might throw one more on once I get home just to chronicle the trip back, and I might even keep some sort of life diary going, but I somehow doubt that I will maintain the upkeep.

It's very bittersweet coming home. I'm pretty much flat broke, so, in that sense, it's a welcome idea. I don't fancy heading out and looking for work in Australia again, especially if, as Leah promises me, the job market at restaurants in Edmonton is still as green as it was when I left. I will certainly miss some people and make a conscious effort to keep in contact with them, and I know I will miss the weather (although this last week has been truly terrible. Rained out a few days of the Open) and I'm certainly excited to see everyone in Edmonton.

I'll look you all up when I get back, unless you look me up first. There was even talk of a coming-home party, but you'll have to talk to my Dad. He seems to be running the show.

See you all (really, really) soon!

Cheers. And g'day.

-P

Patrick Complains

Click on it. It gets bigger. And I feel that this is accurate, and is particularly accurate with people at train stations. Those people are like... the people that weren't smart enough to work in airports. They're all really bitchy. I mean, when you move across the aisle so you can have two seats width to attempt to fall asleep in, they yell at you because it confuses them. I mean, I can understand that the train makes multiple stops and that wakeup calls are necessary, but when I'm going to the end of the line, I really think that this rule can be bent, especially when I'm next to a fat trashy white guy with bad breath and worse B.O. I got yelled at for it a lot, and once the man actually shouted 'You can't expect me to adjust the entire train for you!' as if I was forcing everyone else to move and taking some sort of sick pleasure in doing it. Jerk.

Oh, he also shook me awake at two stations later on to 'check' if I was getting off. So he's either incredibly slow or just an asshole.

On a similar note, (things that bother me on the train) I now share Josh's hatred of teenage girls aged 13-16, because they don't stop GIGGLING. For like all seventeen hours of my Brisbane-Sydney train it was like a goddamn slumber party, talking about boys and who's gone how far with whom at a volume that would make Jesus look down and be all, like, 'I know I'm supposed to love everyone, but godDAMN!' and God would be like 'Now Jesus, we can't just go around damning people because they're irritating, loud and (if you believe their claims) incredibly slutty.'

Seriously. Things that Howard Stern would find offensive coming out of the mouth of someone who is still in a training bra.

That's all. I'm finished. Oh, Leah's fine, she's just staying a little ways outside the city (where? I don't know) and has been jet lagged. I apparently forget that my ability to overcome jet lag is quite good. I told you I should have been a professional athlete.

-P

Patrick is worried about Leah

Melbourne, Day 2.
No Leah! This is worrisome. Or insulting, but, really, if the choices are A) Leah has been captured by mercenaries or B) Leah is blowing me off, I'll swallow my pride and get blown off. Maybe her flight was delayed, but either way, I'm a little concerned.
I went to a movie and had a couple drinks with my friend that I met last time in Melbourne, named Raf from Calcutta, and today I am moving hostels back to the one I stayed in around Christmas, because this one is shit. No A/C, no leather couches, and the atmosphere is not as good either. I just picked it because it was downtown, and close to everything. But I'm back to Cooee today, unless Leah contacts me in the next hour and a half, and I doubt that.

I'm seriously a little worried about her. If anyone's heard from her, let me know. I can deal with getting blown off, but I don't want to worry all week. Not that I think she would blow me off. But I guess that makes it worse...

Anyway, one more week here.

Miss y'all.

-P

Patrick has his sexuality questioned, Goes to the beach

According to David van Boom, Sydney is 'The gayest city in the world'. Now for those of you that don't know DVB, he's doesn't mean 'gay' in the merry, jolly, let's have a picnic and hold hands while skipping kind of gay, he means the homosexual kind of gay.

I've spent the last four days living with homos. Five of them, to be exact. It's certainly a different experience than any other part of the trip.

David was kind of cute. He got up super-early and insisted on meeting me at the train station and also was texting me for updates in case I might be late. (I was) He's been living down here since November with his new boyfriend Scott. Scott is a really sweet guy. He's also 40, where David is 24. That threw me a little, but David's explaination, which makes sense, I guess, was that he would rather spend his life with a handsome 40-yr-old than with a 25-yr-old that might be ugly by the time they're 40.

It's a very David way of looking at things. And they're very cute, and very much in love. David is thinking of staying down here beyond his year-long Visa to be with Scott forever.

Anyway, my time in Sydney occured at the perfect time, as David is off work until the day after I leave. So we had all sorts of free time, and, on day 1, went to Bondi Beach, which was beautiful, and the GIRLS there... it's not even really fair. Made me want to cry with happiness. I would have stayed longer if I had known that that was essentially the only time I would see any this whole weekend. That night we drank (apparently a common occurance in the household) and got pizza at a really nice place around the corner and crashed and watched movies and drank some more. The next day David and I went to Manly, where there is also a nice beach, and threw a frisbee for a couple of hours. There was no sun, and, as a result, fewer girls on the beach. Which is unfortunate, really, because I'm pretty good with a frisbee. It was a slow day, and we cooked dinner with their new steam-cooker. It cooked much more slowly than advertized. We had lukewarm peas and carrots with our chicken schnitzel, and gave up on the garlic potatos. Watched some Will & Grace and some Miami Vice (terrible) and went to sleep.

Yesterday was the much-anticipated day of 'Fag Tag'. This was, apparently, a social event for the homos that occurs every couple of months or so, and the house was instructed by David not to tell me what it was. They kept making jokes that I should bring lube, wouldn't be able to sit down afterward, should get a little drunk first, etc. It was an interesting buildup. First, however, we saw Apocalypto. Now, first of all, the movie is named wrong. I assumed that the climax would be some apocalyptic event, and we would get to watch the downfall of the native society. This was not the case. Some natives get taken hostage, one escapes, and the rest of the movie is like a car chase, but with spears instead of expolsions. It was entertaining at times, but, really, was mostly a major disappointment. It also didn't really have an ending.

On the topic of major films, apparently Babel is an early Oscar favorite. No! This isn't right. It was a good movie, yes, but it was, in my opinion, three movies in one, where none of them are done right. They're all solid, don't get me wrong, but I don't think it's Oscar-worthy. Or maybe I just want to see Martin Scorscese finally get his oscar. I loved The Departed.

Now on to Fag Tag. Apparently, every couple of months, the gay and lesbien community organize to invade a straight bar for a day. We attended, and it was interesting. The first gentleman I met hit on me, and David told him that we (David and I) had dated back in Edmonton, and that was how we knew each other. The gentleman then asked if I was single, and I decided to play along and said that I was. (not really a lie) Apparently I was 'just his type' and he offered me a spot on his couch if I was uncomfortable with my current accommodations. I told him I'd think about it. Apparently I am quite attractive to gay men. Perhaps it was because I was probably the youngest one there, and, let's face it, I have a big of a baby-face. Anyway, we got drunk and then went and got Indian food and then went home and went to bed early, but not before watching The da Vinci Code.

I leave tonight and head back to Melbourne. I am waiting for word from Leah regarding where they are staying, their plans, etc. Sydney was fun. David says hi to everyone.

See you in a week!

-P

Patrick is in Brisbane

Well I have been harassed for the last couple of days to give an update. Mostly, I think, because my phone apparently has a different area code up here, even though it's the same number in Australia. Oh well, try me again when I'm in Sydney, which is any time after... 1pm Edmonton time on the 11th, and, if that fails, try when I get back in Melbourne, which will be at... 2am Edmonton time on the 15th.

I am currently crashing on the couch (well, technically, in the hammock) of a friend of Jenn's here in Brisbane. Named Tim. Has a big new tattoo. He's awesome. The hammock is great, the atmosphere is relaxed. I have accomplished very little, and I am in a very zen-like state. Stress and pressure, I am avoiding. I have been reading a lot. My first night here, we went to the pool and I played keep-away with a rugby ball, a couple of Swiss guys who are also in this house, and a bunch of Aussie kids who apparently saw me as more of a ladder/tower. I was popular, let me tell you. I had like... three eight-year-old girls climbing on me at once, and I realized, at that moment, that this sort of thing never happens with girls over the age of 18. So sad...

Anyway, we then proceeded to drink a case of beer between three of us (well, four, but you can't count Joanne. She had like...two) while playing such games as 'Sociables' and 'Trapped', and then proceeded to catch the 9 30 showing of Babel, which was quite good, but I didn't really care for Brad Pitt or Cate Blanchett. The storyline with the deaf Asian girl was powerful.

The next day, I slept late, and then spent four or five hours throwing a frisbee in the botanical gardens with Jenn and catching up on life etc. and then went home and played Settlers of Cattan until bedtime. Then, yesterday, I killed another four hours of my book, and then played some poker and more Settlers with the swiss guys, and then watched the Oiler/King game on replay. Good finish, I gotta say, and how the hell did we get Nedved? Also, what is the Oiler's problem right now? They look like a good team offensively, and Roloson seems fine. What gives?

Anyway, today I slept late and got my train back to Sydney organized, and tonight, all of us are going to a curry place to celebrate my last night in town.

So that is my life in Brisbane. It's slow-paced, relaxing, and I'm eating a lot.

I know the phone is out. Email me! Cheers.

-P

8-hour Layover Power

Yo updating ya'll from the S-Y-D.

It be warmer, hotter, and more sunny up here than my brothas in the South.

I got my 'do shorn by a brotha with a mullet-do.

My multi-coloured homeboy, the DVB, ain't nowhere in sight.

Trains aren't so bad, yo. Still got plenty of track to roll.

Peace.

P-Dawg

Of Penguins, a Horse named Tony, and Life Changes

Hey team.

So the change in plans leaves it like so:
Stay in Melbourne for a 2 or 3 more days before heading up to Brisbane to see Jenn and then down to Sydney to see David, returning to Melbourne on the 15th ish to meet up with Leah and Brittney for a week before coming home.

The initial reaction to my coming home was mostly positive. Now that it's been given time to settle, the reactions are beginning to vary. Mostly, they are what I expected. Angie is happy that I'm coming home, Shannon thinks that I should think about it a little more, and Josh penned me an incredibly depressing email that essentially told me that my lifestyle at home was gone, and that I'm returning home to a dream that no longer exists. Seriously, I had a very good day yesterday, and I read it when I got home, and that was it. I was just gonna lie in bed and watch bad TV for the night.

He's right to an extent. Most of my really close friends from the past two years are either gone or leaving, and I really have to accept that. It's probably time I grew up a little bit, even though I don't really want to. My life is certainly going to change.

Depressing.

Anyway, yesterday I headed out to Phillip Island to see the infamous penguin parade. On the way, I got to hand feed all sorts of cool animals like wallabies and kangaroos and emus (well not hand-feed, they have pointy mouths) and alpacas and a horse named Tony. They were all so cool! The alpaca literally jumped up on its hid legs to be about nine feet tall and then stretched its neck to try and get more food. And it had creepy blue eyes that made it look albino with its white fur, but also kind of made you think that it had no soul. It was cool.

Then we went to where the penguins parade. By parade, I mean come home from fishing and make a panicked run across the beach to their little burrows. Any by panicked run I mean lean forward while waddling and falling down on a regular basis. They do it in groups for security, and they come out of the ocean four or five times before they make the run, and then one will panic and run back in and everyone else will follow suit. They don't run fast, that's for sure, but those little buggers (10"-1' tall) sure can climb. And by climb I mean jump up incredibly steep slopes with ease. They're on the ground, and you blink, and they're two feet up a cliff that would certainly be a black diamond if there was snow on it. It's unreal. But we had to wait on the beach for 2 hours just to get a good seat. It was worth it.

Otherwise, I've been chilling and reading and killing time watching movies etc. Most of my hostel friends have moved on, and I'm ready to as well. As soon as Jenn gets back to me, I'm going to hop on a train.

See you all soon! Miss you all.

-P

Happy New Year

Well, the news is in. I am flying home, but almost certainly not until the 23rd. Air Canada apparently doesn't allow standby. Which sucks, because now I get to see less of Shannon and none of Josh. Which means I will likely have to head out to my cousin in Toronto's wedding (May 5th) early and see Josh first. Or something along those lines. I miss that kid.

In the mean time, as my finances grow ever-thinner, I am looking to do something like this:
Stick it out in Melbourne until next weekend ish. Doing what, I'm not sure, as most of my friends are leaving town. After that I was hoping to visit Jenn in Brisbane and spend some time with her before I go, and then fly down to Sydney and see DVB and his new friend before I head back. Hopefully crash on some couches.

I'll still see you all soon, it'll just feel a lot longer for me, especially this week in Melbourne. Hopefully I'll find a way to kill time. Oh, I'm unemployed now by the way.

Sorry Josh, I tried really hard. Happy New Year everyone.

-P