Patrick is getting frustrated and homesick

Hey team.

No job yet, and it's beginning to become consuming. I've got a couple of call-back-when-____-is-ins and a couple of no-answer-yets, and a couple where I need to print off my resume, so as I wait for the only computer with printing capabilities to become available, I will update you on my life.

I saw happy feet last night, and it was decent. Not amazing. All the really funny parts were in the previews, which usually leads to a let-down. Robin Williams was fantastic as usual.

Otherwise, the apartment is in a bit of a trashy neighbourhood. It's a little depressing to walk through, especially at night. As if I needed more reason to be depressed. I've almost become resigned to the fact that I'm going to have to go pick fruit. I don't want to, as it will just add to the complications of when Shannon/my Dad come down here and I will have to leave the plantation. Ah well, I'll do what I can. Money goes fast when you travel. I think I'll hold out until when Leah comes on the 15th and maybe travel with them a bit up the coast to a better plantation. There is a decent one near Melbourne. I'll do some research. Shannon, as soon as you know your trip plans, I'd like to as well. It certainly affects my plans.

Got a PS2 and a couple games, though I need a converter or a VCR to connect it to my TV. I'll get one today. If I have to run off, I'll only get a few weeks of play out of it, but at least the resale value is pretty high (90%ish), so it's not money entirely wasted. I wonder if it's valuable on the black market in Thailand? Assuming they have a black market. I need to do some research on that as well.

I think I'm going to the cricket tomorrow. I hope the weather's nice. A friend of Josh and Carol has tickets.

I'm starting to remember my dreams, which is something that I have not been able to do since... probably grade 9 or 10. I don't know what it means, but if anyone is spiritually educated and would like to let me know, I'm certainly listening. It's kind of disconcerting. Most of them involve people from Edmonton. Some are happy, some are depressing.

I'm considering trying my luck at the poker tables again, but, because of my state of mind and employment, I think it would be a bad idea. I like to think I would make the right choices, but I get the sense that I would make a few mental mistakes.

It might be the residual effect from Christmas, but I really, really miss home right now. I keep telling myself that pushing up my return date until, say, now-ish and then working at home before I head to Thailand (the price difference is surprisingly minimal) is not a good idea, that I should stick it out here. That it is making me a better, more complete person, and that it will get better. All of that is probably true, but I gotta say, I could certainly deal with a week or two at home right now, just to collect myself. I'm not a walking disaster or anything, but I'm certainly more of a mess that I've been in a long time. I hope that, if I find a job, everything else will fall into place. It also blows me away that job-finding is this difficult, considering how easy is was in Edmonton. Maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way.

Don't worry. I'll keep it together. I always seem to.

-P